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Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Currently
Set Sail
By The Movement
Another Man's Shoes
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it didn't take listening to reggae music for me to figure out that everyone needs to take a step back and chill every once in awhile; but the reggae music did reinforce it for me.

i woke up ten minutes ago, in fifteen minutes i leave for work where i'll wait tables for what is going to be a slow lunch shift. on most days, for most people, someone would be totally stressed about that; either they don't feel like going to work or they don't think they'll make rent this month. however, this morning in the shower, as i was stressing a bit about it, i thought to myself, "it could be worse." i proceeded to get out of the shower and turn on some reggae tunes and right now i am lying in bed with my work clothes on ten minutes before i have to leave and.... i am at peace :)

Sunday, 22 March 2009

Reflect

hopefully you never stop reflecting, cuz like when you are 40 its going to be the moments that you look back on that keep you young at heart

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Currently
Shwayze
By Shwayze
Mary Jane
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There IS Something More.... Right?

...................... (I'm waiting for it, that something greater)

lately everything has been mundane, dull, uneventful, bland... i feel like i am the exception, cuz i keep slipping through the cracks; every time.

so when does this all start to come back around? to turn my way? when do i get a break? not like a vacation, i don't want that; i want something more, eventually life is supposed to have meaning. my life used to have meaning...... so when did that all go out the window? im getting to the point where i can't even keep my thoughts in the same place for more than 30 seconds.

DREAM... move to freaking jamaica!!!!!! seriously, they do what they need to do to survive then they enjoy the shit out of life. yea, they have their issues. they face their share of troubles but they deal with it, they provide for their family then just live! and i love that, i want that, i need that... but i can't seem to do it here. BECAUSE in this crazy ass country everyone has to strive for high bars and perfection, can't just take what we're given and run. we want more.

(told you i can't keep my thoughts in the same place very long)

Saturday, 07 March 2009

Gossip - Friendship - Life

what is it with the upside down society that we live in where people HAVE to know everything first? the juicy gossip does not just fly through the halls of high school but also college campuses, the work place, and your parents. every one feels the need to be "in the know" about everything at all times.

tonight as i sat in the bleachers of my old high school with three friends from my graduating class i let myself drift off into space as i watched the game on the court. my drifting off into space was triggered by the words, "she really isn't pregnant. _________ (name) started that rumor because she is dating her ex." (side note: failure of the english language can be blamed on pronouns, see previous sentence). two things are wrong with this; the first is the fact that two of the three discussing this non-existent pregnancy never really ever talked to the person who was "carrying" the baby in high school and the only reason the other person cares is because they both ended up going to the same college AND secondly why do people believe this shit?

we believe it because we want to know whats going on. we strive to be the first to know all the juicy gossip of the day and don't stop till we get it.

when the day ends though... who really truly cares about it all? no one. what ever happened to friendship? caring about someone or wanting to know what was going on in their life because we care about them and want to help them through troubled times and rejoice with them in good times. what happened? when did the value of information become higher than the value of a friend?

Friday, 06 March 2009

Start Of Something New

the other day was the first time i realized it. i have had a complete transformation from my senior year of high school to now. then i was the loud obnoxious kid always with an opinion or something to say, now i am the one who uses less words to describe more; don't get me wrong though, i still have strong opinions and i can still get over-excited, over-angry, over-anxious about everything and anything that is happening. the biggest of changes have come in the last few months, since dropping out of college. i have stopped drinking, stopped smoking, and everything about my sexual past i have come to regret wishing i could completely start over with it. so pretty much two days ago as i was punching the walls of the shower, water and tears becoming one and running down my body, was the start of something new.